Original text
I met Steven, we walked for a bit wif my friend Nat then went back to my house. When he had 2 go hime i walked him to the bus stop and kissed him, but i didn't feel anything. I felt really bad as he is such a nice person. I told him last night how I felt and he completely understood. We iz going to the cinema on saturday together. Neway, I sat my french general exam yesterday and i got my results back today. I got 31 out of 32 so i'm quite happy. Claire was really upset in english and i wish i could help her b happy but the only one who can do that is tony.
Rewrite
When one met a young gentlemen; named Steven, we embraced the nature by going for a walk, alongside a great companion, Nat. Afterwards, we went back to my house. When Steven had to go home, I kindly accompanied him to the bus stop, where we interlocked our lips, hoping for emotion and sparks to which there wasn't any. I felt guilty as he is such a pleasant human being. Steven was understanding later that night- when i told him one's emotions. Claire was very upset in English , I wished I could of showed sympathy for her but the only person who could achieve this was Tony.
Wednesday, 11 September 2013
Effective texts
Effective styles of writing
I found this debate effective because both the women use simplistic language which I feel is appropriate for middle-aged women. However, the simple language used suggests that the women are of a lower intelligence level. The tone in which the women speak is very chatty and makes women readers feel they are not alone- as if they can confide in these women. The two opposing arguments makes this debate effective as it shows two different opinions but they back up their opinions with explanations.
I found this article successful as it had a headline that told the reader a bit about what the article is about to tell them, then it is followed by a by-line which gives more information to the reader about the article. This headline makes the reader want to read further because the writer uses statistics to emphasise how tragic the accident was. Throughout the article the writer uses quotes from interviews with people, who witnessed the accident, to make it sound more realistic to the reader. Again, this article is very simplistic, however this is beneficial to the reader as states what happened clearly, without having the need to use difficult language.
This piece of writing is very different to the others I have chosen. This is an informative piece of writing. The variation of language used through out if more complex and the way the punctuation has been used; the punctuation is more varied and the writer hasn’t just used simple punctuation. Also, the way the sentences are structured and the complex wording tells us that the target audience if for highly-educated people. However, this piece of writing is very informal as it is very chatty “even worse news” this makes the report more personal to the reader.
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